"Faith for Fear"

My sister and her two sweet kiddos (I'm a proud Aunt).




Me and my sis!



The Banana Bird

As most of you may know by now my sister was diagnosed with cancer(s) (Meta plastic Carcinoma / Spindle Cell Carcinoma to be exact). She found out she had cancer in August a week after her 35th birthday. You can only imagine my sadness and heartache for her. You have to understand...when God gave me a sister...He also gave me a best friend! When she hurts I can actually physically hurt with her ~ I love her THAT MUCH! We were also each others "partners in crime"when we were teenagers. After receiving the bad news I found myself not being able to breathe. I went back and forth on "should I go now and visit?" or "will she need me more later?" When you aren't able to function properly your body can easily make that decision for you. So I left...it was the first time I have ever flown home from Belize by myself, but I had peace of mind to know that Heath was here holding down the fort and keeping the ministry going. He is so sweet and supporting! I thank God for him daily.

After arriving in NC, I realized my decision to come back was the right one. My family was so sad and brokenhearted. We had so much anxiety for my sister Deanna and knowing she must be scared. My sister is a strong brave soul, and is really good at trying to make people laugh and keep us from worrying. I did the best I could to not let her see me cry knowing that is not what she needs from me. I was only there for a week (US Air has a blackout time from Charlotte to Belize). Getting on the plane after such a short trip was hard to do. Heath assured me I can always fly back if I needed to. I wondered how I was going to possibly be any good at doing anything here, while my heart was filled with so much sadness and my mind was in North Carolina.

It it was in the midst of my sadness after returning that I saw the bird's nest. (We have had a bird lay 3 eggs three times in a nest in our window since we have lived here). Belize City has so much violence and sadness, but God has given Belize some the most beautiful birds that I have ever seen! I am not even a bird watcher! The birds in this nest are "Banana Birds." I had seen them hatch a few weeks before and now there was only one bird left in the nest. I really felt impressed that God was telling me to "watch the bird." I watched and watched and waited and waited. I would see the bird sticking it's head and body as far as it possibly could outside of the nest. I thought, "Wow, God knows I need to watch this and be inspired and happy." So I continued to wait. Have I mentioned I am not a patient person? I am learning... believe me! Heath came in and started watching too for a bit. He said, "It would preach."(lol) He and I looked while the bird would go from the front of the nest to the back and test out it's wings. The bird did this so many times that it even made me exhausted. It was evident to me by it's actions (and the bird poo in the nest) that this little bird was terrified! After about 20 minutes I was praying for the bird to be brave and fly. In 30 minutes time I was getting upset and telling the bird that it's wings would work and that is what it was destined to do! I was explaining to the bird that God has given it everything it needs to function properly and to have faith. I finally quit watching. I had too many things to do. I also had realized that this is what God wanted me to see.

I do not doubt that God can heal and will heal my sister. It has only been the fear of the unknown of what lays ahead in the treatments and the side effects that have me so down. Sometimes I think it is hard to get your body to function and comply with what your heart and mind know. This is what faith is though… it is believing in the unseen. My biggest step of faith was moving here and leaving everything behind. I still remember just like it was yesterday Heath asking me, "When do you want me to tell the pastor we are leaving?” I kept saying, "One more week, just one more week." Then it hit me! That is what faith is! It is knowing that God will provide and take care of you if you believe in Him. Heath told me that he doesn't believe that "Faith is not necessarily the absence of fear. It is trusting in God even when you are afraid." I have to say I agree. Sometimes we just seem to see the storm ahead and not what is beyond the storm.

Please do not forget Who calms the storms. We all need to be reminded from time to time. (I now know why Heath would say he was preaching to himself.) I would like to leave you with some scriptures to encourage you:

Hebrews 11:1 "Now faith is being certain of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see."

There is also one of my personal favorites:

2 Corinthians 4:18 "So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal."

I would also like to ask you to pray for my sister. Her name is Deanna McDaniel. She is a wife and a mother of two. I would like to ask specifically for the healing of her body and for the side effects of her treatment to be minimal to non-existent. Please pray for her household as well ( I know it hard on her hubby and kids.) And of course, please continue to pray for Belize and our ministry here. God bless you all! I love you so much! -Amanda:)
BTW, the bird is happy and can be seen flying around our house with the rest of its’ family